Wellness

Find out the answers you want to hear—and the red flags to watch out for.

As recently as a few months ago, I had to tactfully point out to a fifth therapist how their words and theories they’d learned in their schooling pathologized queerness (a la, queerness is born from trauma in utero or in childhood) and their language surrounding bisexuality (“changing sexuality” from straight to gay) was biphobic and inept. 

A path to staying mentally tough and centered.

How such a simple sentiment could be so difficult, and why it strikes a chord.

It’s good for you to let go of your anger and forgive, but forgetting isn’t required or even necessarily healthy.

You may be wondering what correlation there is between traveling and forgiving, but soon it will become more apparent as I take you through the four things I learned about forgiveness while traversing through Europe.

It’s safe to say, touting bisexual+ men’s presumed superlativeness encourages sexual intrigue firmly rooted in reducing bisexual+ men to objects of sexual pleasure and gratification. 

What does it mean to witness Lil Nas X not only unfold in all his complexity but also be platformed by larger media? To be the expansive, daring, playful artist that he is?

Striking Vipers” exploited the trope of Black bi+ men as liars while refusing to have characters who explore bisexuality to acknowledge it.

It’s not too late to challenge and unlearn these values that bring Black men harm and cause harm to others.

On top of these tensions surrounding my race and ethnicity, I was also often ridiculed by kids and adults on every side for how I presented my gender.

Because we live in this society, anti-Blackness is very common among us, perhaps even more so when we date outside our race.

While coming out can be incredibly validating, a way to filter out people who are unsafe to be vulnerable around, symbolic of personal growth, a mark of acceptance of yourself and can allow people to see you in your totality, the reality is not always as poetic, specifically for bisexual people.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to live in a world without cisgender heterosexual people after all.

Thanks for the cute couple pics, but this is a white supremacist organization.

Country rocker T.J. Osborne, of duo Brothers Osborne, came out as gay in a February 2021 interview with Time magazine, effectively making him one of the only openly gay artist signed to a major country music label.

In a seven minute video that went viral last May, Broadway actor, playwright, and self-proclaimed “zaddy” Griffin Matthews took his racist colleagues to task.

Cunningham’s statement echoed calls from Black activists who’ve insisted for decades that removing police and policing is the only way to end state murder and the targeting of people of color.

Lovato, who identifies as pansexual and nonbinary, takes viewers on a roller coaster ride of seeking serenity in chaos, recognizing that life is not static and neither are they.

"And it doesn’t make somebody more or less bisexual in my mind, it’s just about culture. Like what culture do you come from? What’s happening for you?"

"If someone doesn't experience bisexuality themselves, why do they get the power to decide if your identity is valid?"

"People don’t seem to realize that disclosing is incredibly personal, and the world doesn’t make it safe for us to be bisexual."

“We’ve all been conditioned to hear the word ‘bisexual’ in Black men, and automatically think, ‘Oh, they’re going to cheat and give me HIV’ or that they are secretly gay.”

“Because of this [dismissal] that bi+ people face, our sexualities are usually erased, made more ‘digestible’ as being either gay or straight depending on who you're in a relationship with and how masculine or feminine you are.”

“Growing up, people gaslit me and said that because I was feminine my attraction to girls wasn’t real.”